pinkpixiepunk

I refuse to be contained in forms of norms. I've done that already many times. It did not only ate me alive, it killed me as well. I will take it as it comes. I refuse to see any piece of garment because that would merely be imitating. I loathe to see those pieces actually. I need to influx myself with inspiration outside this world. I refuse to see this world in how they see it. If there is anything I have, I have my vision. I will never compromise that.

Since I've resigned to my day job... as a designer for this local garment company, I must admit that I've been structureless. May be because I lost my mobile phone, hence losing all my contacts to my clients.

I'm back to freelancing now, but it's not turning out I planned it to be... having much expenses daily and sometimes I tend to be bored but lazy... bad mix... I know.

I'm just grateful for these constant jolts of happenings like engagements of friends, parties and such. I loathe these happenings actually. But these events becomes my bread and butter.

A high school friend of mine is recently engaged, she asked me to designed her bridal entourage and her bridal gown... I doing my visual research since she want a winter themed wedding. It's soooo exciting! and mentality stimulating thinking about ideas for her wedding.

I actually have pending weddings... there's this one colorful pastel wedding, a vintage soul wedding, a whimsical wedding, and a Filipiana wedding themed... they're all exciting and interesting to do... I hope no one backs-out! They're simply my food for my soul nowadays. And for the next coming month they will be my bread and butter! hahaha

Summer is a kill here in Manila. I may say, the heat can kill me literally. My styling jobs and commissioned designs are all pending... I can hardly work at day because of the heat.

I was forced to return again to Divisoria this afternoon, I am not really satified with how my dressmaker finished my designed so I made her do it again. It's frustrating when that happens... dressmakers tend to just make a poor quality garments and they don't really see the "beauty" or the "details" a fashion designer would spend time thinking about.

As I take the train going back to Quezon City, I bumped into a former dressmaker of mine. I felt sad because she told me, I sould be stepping it up so I could make it big. I never thought I am not stepping it up... I just don't want to make hasty career steps that I don't even know what I'm getting at... I want to cherish and spend time stimulating my mind with what I do... Money and fame are merely secondary factors I consider right now.

I have so many dreams I still want to accomplish. I want to pay it forward. I want to teach... and I want to create some more.

I am shaken because I don't want to be left behind. I am scared, there's no turning back.

In a few days, I know life would be hard. The work I'm gonna be entering will be the hardest challenge I will ever face. I just pray I could ready myself. I hope it turns out for the best.

Wish me luck, peeps. I will need all your positive vibes!

For the longest time I have these set of designs that I haven't found the "Right" name for the collection. I bought the fabrics already... like 2 years ago na! It's this cute heart print fabric. It's really cute and I was able to design like 30 pieces of garments out of the fabric.

Hindi ako maka-isip ng may dating na "title" ng koleksyon ko na ito... kasi hello... walang hugot, naisip ko "Young Hearts Run Free" "I Heart You" yuck ang babaduy!! WALANG HUGOT! Eh ang sabi ko nga, one thing I am proud of with my designs... lahat galing sa puso. feeling ko nga mas nakakagawa ako ng magagandang outputs pag-"hurt" (Diary was made because of a broken heart) o may masidhing wanting (Roadmap to Happiness was created because of my desire to travel the world). It's my way of labelling my creations... putting a part of myself.

Hence, dahil "I-am-a-good-person-na-inaapi" ang drama ko ngayon (drama-dramahan lang) ito ang pinaka-astig na paraan upang ako'y maka-cope-up with the bad vibes of the world. SUBLIMATION: Transformation of negative emotions or instincts into positive actions, behavior, or emotion and HUMOR: Overt expression of ideas and feelings (especially those that are unpleasant to focus on or too terrible to talk about) that gives pleasure to others. Humor, which explores the absurdity inherent in any event, enables someone to call a spade a spade You have wronged me bigtime hehe. Thanks! "Miss... Eat Your Heart Out" pala ha... PWE~ You have wronged me bigtime! Salamat talaga!

(ay oops. oo na mabait na nga ako sinusublimize ko na ang bad energies! matalas lang talaga ang wording ko dahil binabakla ko lang ito haha)

Meron na akong "MAY HUGOT" na title ng fashion collection ko na ito. Eat My Heart Out... very Heatherette ang drama na may pagka Drama Queen. hehe. asteeeg. o Huwag tayong masyadong mag-feeling, this is thanks to me. ME alone. pero asteeg talaga, yung may conversational anecdote na ako na makwekwento pag tinanong ako "What's your design inspiration?"

Sagot: "... ahhh Sir Jojie, based on real life po yan, based on blogwarla entiled: MISS... Eat your Heart Out" haha ta's hindi nila alam kung nangjojoketime lang ba ako o totoo ba sinasabi ko. Ayuz! hehe. Ta's magiging mala-urban legend o chismis na siya tulad ng "Don't Speak" ng No Doubt na tungkol sa Gwen-Tony break-up o parang ang dulang "Rent" na apparently buhay ng playwright na si jonathan larson kasama ang bohemian artists sa new york. (thanks amrei)

Hindi. Biro lang. Masaya lang ako, nataon swak talaga ang phrase sa aesthetic at mood ng design na nagawa ko two years ago na.

I'll post them when I get to start the collection... Sabi ko dati ito ang gagawin ko sa una kong Fashion Week... hay Fashion Week. May drowing na, may design na may materials na, wala lang ako pera at panahon!

Isa-isa lang... hehe. darating din tayo dyan sa tamang panahon.

For the meantime... I have four weddings and New York. Booked na ang 2009 ko pati 2010 hanggang 2011. ay! ang saya! ang dami kong weddings... i love love! Pramis magdro-drawing na talaga ako!! hehe sorry ate kay at aya hehe tapusin ko lang prom dress in sister ta's ang weddings nyo naman ang aasikasuhin ko hehe.

nothing much to say because i'm sleepy.

i wrote the most painful poem today. and it has drained me.

...shall i join project runway season 2?